Knock Knock

Is anybody still out there? Wouldn't blame you if you disappeared. I know it's been a very long time!!! I really miss blogging, but I honestly have no idea when/how often I'll blog and what about. I don't have a clear purpose except that I need an outlet for things I want to share. I share on Facebook but here is where I tend to ramble more. :) I can't BELIEVE we are coming up on 4 months since I lost my sweet mother. On one hand it feels like an eternity, but on the other hand time is flying by. We've already had Thanksgiving and now coming up on our first Christmas without her. It just isn't the same and probably never will be. In other news though, my business is up and running! My rental house is all done and I'm just waiting to get my first official booking (just went "live" a few days ago), but have had some friends staying there who have loved it. Here is our website: http://ridgeview-estes.com I wish I could catch up and share everything that has gone on, but I know that's impossible. So I'll just be sharing snippets here and there as I decide to. Hope some people are still hanging in there :)

Dear Mom

(I thought I should share this here. I wrote this before her funeral and it went into the pamphlets that were handed out before the service.)

Dear Mom,

It is so hard to believe you're gone. Your presence remains so strong and I think that's because you made such a lasting impression on every person who knew you. If someone knew you for a few minutes, they were already a friend. If someone knew you a little longer, they quickly became family. You didn't just touch lives… you held them until you found a way to make them better.

The love and support you have shown me are so beyond measure that most people have never experienced an unconditional love like yours. People just don't know what it's like to have someone see the best in them immediately - and always. But I do, because you have always seen me in that light. I have been lucky enough to know this love my entire life and watch joyfully as you spread that love to anyone I welcomed into my life. It's amazing to watch what happens when someone who has never been loved that way gets the chance to experience it with you.

You are the epitome of love. You defined it, as it defined you. Our dreams became your dreams. With you, no dream was ever too big…and no achievement was ever small. You believed in us enough to convince us to believe also. Selfish was not in your dictionary… your concerns were always for everyone else's happiness. You were absolutely devoted to us all and selfless almost to a fault. I am glad you pursued this surgery in hopes of a better life. It may be the only thing you ever did for yourself. We support your choice and accept the outcome because we know you just couldn't handle the pain another day and needed to take this chance at a future.

There are simply not enough words to express how much I love you and how much I will miss you. The loss is indescribable. However, I will find peace because I know your suffering has ended. All the pain you have dealt with for 30 years, the worst of it unfortunately being at the very end… it is all gone now. Your body always held back your spirit, but now you are free…free to fly with the angels. I love you, Mom, forever and always.

Love,

Your Daughter, Christie

Sad

For those who don't yet know, my mom died unexpectedly on August 30th. It has really turned life upside down for me. I am starting to get back into the swing of things, spending time with friends and working on the new rental property in Estes Park...as well as Ian and I are moving in with my dad. We are keeping busy and there is lots going on... but I am just plain sad and really haven't felt like blogging. I will be back as soon as I'm feeling up to it.

Making Plans

OK... so I have still not been losing ANY weight at all. I have stayed exactly the same no matter what I do. I have been exercising daily, without fail, for over a month. I know that there is still room for improvement, though. I'm currently doing Curves 3X per week and an approximately 1.5 to 2 mile walk with hubby every single night. My plan is to add in a tougher cardio session on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and one weekend day whenever possible. I know that the bigger challenge has been the THINGS I am eating. Too many exceptions, too many treats, not enough planning in my meals. I have a few major goals right now. One is to go back to using my timers. Eat, set an hour timer to remind me to start drinking water, and set another timer so that I am eating 2.5-3 hours after my last meal (NOT 1.5 - 2 hours!). I need to train myself when to be hungry again.. I am hungry too soon. I also know if I eat the right dense proteins, I shouldn't get hungry so soon. My other major goal is meal planning. I am not good at trying to plan a whole day or whole week ahead of time, so right now I am going to make a goal that right after I eat (when I am totally not hungry and can be completely sensible), I will plan my next meal and prepare whatever i can for it. That way the decision is made AND the meal is ready to go before I get hungry again. I think I can make more sensible decisions this way. I really need to get back to being more strict about my choices, making better choices, whatever you want to call it. It's a little too soon for me to hit maintenance mode. While I really don't think I will be comfortable at 160lbs (I would have such a hard time getting there), right now I am really really focused on getting to 180 lbs and then being able to maintain there. I can always try to lose more if I want, but right now that is my goal. I think I will even change that on my ticker so that I can really focus on the goal. So... better food choices with timers and some meal planning... and entering the next phase of adding even more exercise. Let's see what happens over the next few weeks. I am also adjusting my ticker to reflect my current weight of 203 lbs. I bounced up to that over my period a while back, but it never went away afterward and I have been maintaining at 203 for quite a while no matter what I do!! SO my first mini goal is to lose 5 lbs and get back to the 198 I had gotten to before :)

Random Life Update

Hi guys :) I have lots to share. First of all, I'm not sure if I ever announced here that the cabin deal fell through... but it did. We are now under contract on a different house and hoping it actually makes it to closing!!

In other news, my mom is having spinal fusion surgery this coming Monday the 22nd. Really hoping it helps her... it is also a scary thing for me because I feel like I'm seeing into my own future, since my degenerative condition is the same as hers (thanks, heredity) :-P She will be in the hospital all week, so I'll be hanging around there a lot.

Now for some more lighthearted things. I went to Charming Charlie with my sis-in-law last weekend and got 5 new dresses!!! Mostly with our Hawaii trip in mind (coming up in November), but I can also wear them here for the rest of the summer, and in fall with my denim jacket :) I only took a pic of one in the dressing room... snagged this baby from the clearance rack for $10!

I'll try to take pics of the others as I wear them. I got a purple dress, a blue, a red, and a white/pink. Yay! Phoebe has been super cute lately. When she snuggles like this I say she is in "stuffed animal mode":

Also, Amber gave me this chair and I put it in the guest room instead of the LoveSac (which was just too big for the room). Phoebe has been glued to the chair since its arrival!

Amber and I got together on Sunday. She continued working on her granny square blanket and has 3 squares done now:

As for me, I just finished up Ian's iPad sleeve today!! Now affectionately called the "iSweater" :)

As you can see, it's his color! LOL. He came home from work and already matched it. AND our house, apparently. So yeah, definitely the right color choice for him. That's about all the news for now. Weight is the same... still working out daily... sometimes twice. FEELING really good... Shakeology shakes are giving me more energy and better workouts. BUT, no change in weight... YET! I have faith it will happen if I just keep at it!

Evening Walk

Went for a nice evening walk with the hubby tonight. This is the park where we have been walking most evenings. Usually we don't get around to it til 9 or 10pm but the past two days we've gone about 7:30-8pm and actually gotten to SEEEEEEEE the park! Haha. It's really pretty and it's nice seeing so many people enjoying themselves.

Today marks 3 weeks of exercising every day which is what our surgeon asked us to commit to. However, the point is to then CONTINUE it :) So shhhh, don't tell hubby it's been 21 days. He hasn't noticed. Whoo hoo!

On the downside, my weight is 202-203 depending on the day. I don't get it. I haven't lost anything at all with all the exercise and eating better. Hoping it's just a plateau I have to bust through, and hoping I am gaining muscle. I am also going to start having Shakeology shakes for breakfast & lunch for a week, then take it down to just breakfast after that. Hoping that helps me bust through this plateau and shake things up (ha!!) so my body will let things start moving again.

Exercise Streak

I know I haven't talked much lately about anything related to surgery, weight loss, exercise etc... but behind the scenes I promise you I am still hard at work :) We had an appt with our surgeon on the 19th and he challenged us to start doing some sort of exercise every single day, no matter what.... and we HAVE. 17 days in a row now! And we are really trying to make it a daily habit, every single day, no matter what. Once we get that down we'll start working more on WHAT the activity is, working harder, longer durations... but right now our focus is just "do something every day". Plus, I'm still doing Curves so some days (usually 3x per week) I am working out twice.

I have actually not weighed since that appointment, and at that time it had gone up due to period week... so I really have no idea where I'm at right now, but don't really care either. Exercising daily and just making better food choices, cooking more etc. Will try to get a weight this Monday morning or sometime this coming week! :)